10 things every man should do in his twenties (advice to my younger self)

About four years ago when I started this blog, I was a sophomore at University pursuing a degree in mass communication. At the time of my first post, I was taking a class in creative writing and thought that starting a blog would be a good way to get better at writing. When I scroll through the fifty four posts I have written since then, I must say that I have done well to get better at expressing my ideas.

When I take a closer look at the content, I realize that it represents a journey of sorts that I have taken. In truth, I am little overwhelmed by how much I have evolved as a person and yet remained the exact same in; my purists, definitions of happiness and values.

On that note, I also realize that I am two years away from my thirties which means am about to go through another learning curve. Growing into another decade of your life is much like being promoted to another class.

Yes, I will look back at my twenties  with a smile but it is becoming more imperative to plan for the future than it is to decipher the past. But before I head off to get busy inventing the future, here is some advice that I would pass along to the twenty something Patrick if I could go back in time.

1.Move out of Home

It will be one of the scariest thoughts you will have to entertain but sooner rather than later, you should leave your parents’ house and venture out into the world on your own and stand on your own two feet. And there is a likelihood that your first apartment will not be the ideal place which might make you miss home for a minute but in order to grow and to be taken seriously, you will have to be on your own at some point in your twenties.

And yes, there will be days where you might go without a meal but that should not deter your focus for moving forward. And related to that, learn to cook a meal or two. Not only will this score you some nice chicks in the process but will save you tons of money on food, which you will come to realize is the most expensive thing about being a bachelor.

2.Fall in love

Another scary thought you will have to entertain which carries with it, the predicament of a heart break. Scary, I know and even worse, it does not get any easier. Falling in love is a scary thing for anyone of any age. So, for what it is worth, you might as well fall in love and see what happens. Of course, only do so with a girl that is worth your time so that even at the end of it, you will be grateful for the time you spent with one another.

And when you do, go all in. Do all that romantic shit you watch on T.V. Write her poetry, cook her a good meal, take her to the movies, pay for her salon session or go for a picnic (women love that shit). But in whatever you do, have the purest of intentions and genuinely love and care for her. It will teach you a lot about women.

3.Fall out of love

Do not hate yourself for falling in love with the wrong girl. It’s okay for things not to work out between you and the girl you thought was the one. Happens to the best of us. And sometimes it might not even be your fault. Some people are just naturally really shitty people and you just might not notice at first. But the most important rule is not what the other person is doing or what they want but rather, what you want! And should you ever find yourself in love with someone but still feel something is missing, then there is a likelihood that you are with the wrong mate, and never hesitate, even for a moment to walk away if something does not add up.

It might take meeting a few people before you realize what you want out of your love life but when you do, purse that direction. If you are still not sure of what I mean, rent a copy of “How I met your mother.” You’ll get the drift.

That way, when you do decide to settle, you will do so without a speck of doubt and for some reason you will always know when you have found her. So don’t give up if you haven’t found her yet, its worth every minute of your wait. Trust me on this one bro.

4.Make money

Freedom is great but it comes with the responsibility of bills, gas for the car and dinner dates. To enjoy your twenties, you will need to have a little cash in your pocket so learn how to make money in any way you can learn how. You will soon realize that money solves a lot of problems and like many things in life, its better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. There is nothing glamorous about being broke and I reckon you will experience this for yourself and hopefully you will come to the same conclusion.

5.Pay your debts

There are two things that can drive a man insane, women and debts. Have both handled and the cardinal rule in your twenties is only acquire business debts and only from family and friends. Not banks, loan sharks or shady characters. For a simple reason that, it is very difficult for legal institutions to give out credit to a young, inexperienced chap like you and seeking alternative sources like the sharks is just a stupid idea because should you fail to pay the debt, you are likely to lose far more than you borrowed.

But before you take any investment from whatever source, ensure you can deliver on paying it back plus interest. Even family and friends want to make some money on the side which means, if you have a legit plan to make people richer, then go ahead and take the risk. This is what your twenties are for.

6.Be open minded

It is f^ckin* retarded to be closed minded and when you get to university, your values, perspectives and theories will be challenged by other intellectuals, whom you might at first consider, cocky, arrogant or even perhaps a little pompous. But through this, teach yourself to listen and entertain ideas from other people however radical. You will notice that by doing so, you will have significantly more friends who think nothing like you and with a bit of luck, this will get you to meet some pretty awesome people, whom otherwise you might never have met if you took people who clashed with your own notions seriously. Chill a little bro. Your friends are equally as confused as you are. They too are trying to discover themselves. Cut them some slack.

7.Travel

One day, you might receive a call from Brian Aine at midnight inviting you to travel with him to Mbarara at six in the morning for his introduction. And even though, you might not have money on you, if he is willing to take care of your expenses, there is no reason why you should not be on the next taxi to Kampala from Mukono.

Yes, traveling will take you out of your comfort zone and there are many justifiable reasons that will fly into your mind as to why you should not travel when an opportunity presents itself but brash all the negative energy aside and get packing.

For what it is worth, you will realize that the journey is always the reward and a camper that breaks off from camp will always have a story to tell. Be that guy. Not only will you learn a lot about the world but it is a great moment to learn certain things about yourself you didn't even know you should know.

8.Stop putting up with shit from anyone 

Well, not entirely. I read something that I think you will find helpful. “A scientist hired an actor who was put in an isolated room. In the observation room, he invited regular people whom he gave a device with a dial that increased the amount of current electrocuting the paid actor. The scientist then asked the civilians to keep increasing the dial. When the current was increased to certain levels, the civilians would express concern about the safety of the person being electrocuted. But the scientist would then encourage them to increase it anyway, that it was perfectly safe. With this assurance from the scientist, the civilians, against their better judgment carried on.

 Luckily, it wasn't actual current being transmitted to the paid actor but imagine if it was.”

9.Mend fences

Knowing you, I am sure you are going to get into a few fights with people when you are in your twenties. It’s perfectly normal to fight with partners, family or friends but this does not mean that you are a bad person. The important thing isn't about who was right or wrong but rather, whether the relationships can be fixed.

Every once in a while, you will get a second chance at fixing things with people in your life. When this opportunity comes, take it and sometime it might come at a point where you do not even need the other person, but always remember, if a relationship is worth having, it’s worth fixing.

But sometimes you will mess things up so bad that no matter what you do, it won’t help and in some isolated incidences make matters even worse. In these rear cases, remember something’s cannot be fixed. Move on and do you best next time not to f*ck things up so bad.

10.Throw epic parties

Call it a rite of passage to bachelorhood but you have to throw an epic party which you will look back at with fond memories. Yes, you possibly could get into a whole lot of trouble and there are probably better ways to spend your money but nothing can replace the memories you will create with your friends.

And if this is not convincing enough, remember that this will make you look awesome which in turn will make you more popular among your peers and this comes with loads of associated advantages.

You only need three things for an epic party; drinks, hotties and lots of meaty delicacies.
You’re smart enough so I guess you’ll figure out the rest out on your own.

But before I head off, remember old friend, that above all things, have fun, worry less and meet as many people as you can because when you grow older, you will not have the same luxuries as you do now.

Responsibility, commitment and all the other boring adult stuff can wait a little while longer. Your twenties only come once; you might as well enjoy your very own fifty shades of awesomeness.

I am glad I had a chance to talk to you and hopefully you will turn out to be the man I know you can be. Take all the chances that life throws at you because you know what, you sure as hell deserve it and even when life feels as lonely as walking all by yourself on a rainy day, it will get better someday. That I can promise.

For now, do all the shit I have mentioned above and get it out of your system because you might not have a chance to do them again.

Yours truly

Future (awesome) Patrick