Wednesday, May 20, 2015

How to fall in love



I have not written a mushy piece for a while so I thought, why not. Its not been an easy task to play two demanding roles, one as a shrewd businessman and the other, a loving boyfriend (who knew about the latter). But for the most of this and last year, I have been working on growing in this area of my life.

I will admit that it has been quit a hectic learning curve which has forced me to painfully re-write the plays out of my playbook. By extension I am giving away a good chunk of my freedom to settle down with one woman that I love and that is a pretty scary thought. (%#*@, I'm actually doing it).

In earnest truth, falling in love is by no means an easy ordeal. Much like the other things we aspire for in life like happiness and wealth, it can be equally as illusive and unpredictable.

So, when you do reach the point where you feel like you are ready to fall in love, this is what you should do to get the most out of the experience.

Bet big or go home

Speaking from a guys perspective, sometimes we think that it is better to "settle down" with a woman who is of average inclination because we some how think that they are easier to maintain. Here is what I have found, if you are to settle down, you might as well get the girl of your dreams because when you think about it, expensive though it might be to maintain a Benz, somehow when you own one, you will find a way to look after it.

Temperamental, sensitive and demanding though it might be, the driving experience will always make up for the frustrations it costs to look after something as delicate as a flower.

A happy and mutually respectful relationship starts with two individuals who both believe that by being together, they are by extension admitting that they are much better people with their partners. You have to fall in love with someone who will always inspire the best in you and encourage you to reach for the best because they too believe the same for themselves and in turn want the same for you. Don't settle "down."
Settle "up."

Get your head in the game or get off the court

Many people fall in love with caution, often afraid that the current relationship they are settling into might just as well end with a broken heart like the previous ones. And because life is lived forward and understood backwards, its easy to constantly see a relationship or partner through the eyes of previous experiences. If there is an express ticket to unhappy-ville, this is your best bet.

If you still have thoughts about your ex, then clearly you should not be in a relationship, doing so will always come at the cost of your partner who might not be pleased to learn that the reason you are not fully committed is because you might have feelings for your ex.

To enjoy the full experience of falling in love, you have to embrace it whole hardheartedly, holding nothing back. Basically you have to love until it possibly cannot hurt any further. The more you put into a relationship, the more you will get out. Same laws of investment.

If patience killed the cow, then hesitation surely shares the same predicament.

Grow up

You will realize that when you meet someone worth spending your time with, things are going to start to change (real fast). At some point of getting to know each other, two adults have to conscientiously decide where they see the prospective relationship heading which makes it imperative to constantly communicate expectations to each other to ensure that they both see the relationship the same way. You definitely do not want to find yourself in a situation where you are all in for someone but the other person does not see you the same way.

The thing with a relationship is that it is constant work and both partners should never slack off otherwise the partnership will cease to be as romantic and exciting as it was when the two initially madly fell in love. It is very important to keep your partner engaged and excited about you and about life.

Doing so might mean having to grow in certain respects like financially to be able to give more into the relationship. You do not want to be the couple that plans vacations but never goes because the "money" is quit never there for it. If your happiness and that of your partner is important, you will find away to put in extra effort to deliver on your end of the partnership.

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